Ah, Darling

On behalf of the nation's smugglers and bootleggers I would like to extend the warmest and most heartfelt thanks to our Chancellor of the Exchequer. Once again he has seen fit to raise the duty on a packet of cigarettes by 11 pence. Cheap foreign travel is now so easy and affordable that they can arrange more and more fag runs. Couple this with the master stroke of actually cutting front line staff (and don't listen to the stock answer about 'brigading' and targeting areas) at the airports it's a bootlegger's bonanza.
What the Chancellor fails to realise is that more tax on tobacco here makes the prospect of buying cheap fags very attractive to almost everybody. It's a watered down prohibition and we all know how well prohibition worked in the US in the 20's and 30's don't we?
I speak as an ex customs officer when I say that we are scratching the surface of the problem. The seizure figures may well show a rise in the numbers but the street price for bootlegged fags is falling. Do you know why this is?
I'll tell you. It's because the Customs Officers at the airports (themselves haunted by targets) pick easy targets. You stop an average bloke and his wife with a bagload of Lambert and Butlers coming back from Malaga. He's seen the posters saying it's fine to do this so he feels happy. Then he gets pulled by a Customs officer, he gets questioned, formally interviewed. The world flips over and the Customs officer seizes his goods because he believes they are being held for a commercial purpose. Now your average bootlegger knows the answers to give to the Customs officer to, if not convince him, then at least give him no room to manouevre. Nine times out of ten they walk with their goods while the innocent guy who doesn't know what to say fulminates. Oh and they'll tell you about the appeals procedure. That's another good one. I'd love to ask the HMRC just how many appeals are upheld. (actually I know...and it's virtually none)
So, well done Chancellor. You've made bootlegging even more profitable, you've piled even more pressure on overworked Customs officers and you've alienated the travelling public (not to mention annoying ordinary smokers again -but that's fine because we're the only minority it's legal to discriminate against) all at one stroke!
Masterful.